There are countless men today who are in search for fool-proof ways to last longer in bed. This quest is usually attached to several personal needs. One is the need to bolster the self-esteem, which is, rightly or wrongly, somehow attached to how a man sees himself performing in bed. Another is the need to give sexual pleasure to his woman. Ensuring her happiness in bed seems to also strengthen the relationship in general.

It makes sense, thus, that considering the huge interest in enhanced male sexual stamina, there are also many products in the market today packaged as aids to bring about sexual satisfaction by way of helping a man stay erect for a longer time. These products come in several forms. Some are sprays supposedly used to numb the senses down there so that you do not get aroused too fast and are, thus, able to pleasure your partner without reaching your own climax before then. Others, with basically the same purpose, come in the shape of lotion, ointments, or even condoms.

These products, while having some limited benefits, may do more harm than good, though, in the long run. You may grow to depend on them with continual use and expose yourself to certain side effects. Others require that you apply them at specific times in the course of your date, somehow curtailing the spontaneity of the sexual encounter. At its best, these products are simply stop-gap measures. They do not attack the problem at its very heart.

Gain Control of Your Arousal

If you have command of how fast you reach your arousal peak, you have control of how long you last in bed. This is the key.

There are different stages of sexual arousal. You have to recognize these levels as you go through each one so that you are better equipped to deal with and control them.

The Four Basic Phases of Sexual Excitement

In the first phase, you start to get erect because of simple sexual stimulation. The second phase takes you to a higher level of sensual sensation. Your penis continues to harden but you are still in control. As your excitement becomes more intense in the third phase, your penis glans swells, becomes hypersensitive, and brings you to the point of extreme need to release. The fourth phase finds you reaching your peak, with the perineal muscles fully contracting to discharge ejaculation.

Lasting longer in bed simply means going through these four phases as slowly as you can. Men who have problems with premature ejaculation are those who fast-track their movement through these four phases, reaching their climax so fast that their partners usually are left frustrated and unsatisfied. If you are able to lengthen the time it takes you to reach the last phase, the more likely you are to pleasure your partner.

It may help to bear in mind that it is best for you to stay in the second phase as long as possible. If you allow your sexual excitement to get the better of you and lead you to the third phase, then you are likely to reach your climax sooner than soon.

Sustaining Sexual Stamina

What can you do to make certain that you stay in phase two as long as you can?

Relaxation is primary. Try to relax both your mind and body. Contrary to how it was when you were a teen-ager and had to find release as soon as possible so that you do not get found out masturbating or enjoying illicit sexual encounters, this time you have the leisure to relax and take your time. So, take deep breaths and try to enjoy the foreplay as long as possible.

Take the focus off yourself. Concentrate on giving pleasure to your partner. If you do this, you enhance her enjoyment with you. Also, you take the edge off your own sexual tension and are able to last longer in bed.